if thats what
you think i am, so be it.
i do care about how other people think of me,
but not you. because you
despise me,
just because i put my friends first.
you said
you shouldn't have trusted me.
in the first place,
i never felt you did.
you're nothing more than a friend to me,
so even if i chose my friends, you're part of it. but i guess, your words changed that fact.
steal my soul; 2:26 PM
those words are ringing in my head.
i
just realise what i did when i left for my holiday in nz during
december last year.
i was
risking, and sacrificing our relationship.
i was
walking out of it without even knowing.
if i didn't leave 4 days after we got together, would we still end up like this?
well, i was right. we wern't as strong as i wished we would be. but its all in the past. so of course that means
the end.
steal my soul; 3:45 PM
no, what i meant was
your love for me
.its not true. nothing is. no one is enjoying this. in fact, we're all
miserable.
so wake up, its time to return to
reality.
the fact is, i don't. not anymore.and everything was going well that day.
so why did it come to this
again?
i've been going out a lot, half in hopes of using
all my energy to do something i enjoy.
this is so that when i go to bed, i can close my eyes and be able to sleep
without thinking of what will happen the next day.
steal my soul; 2:20 PM
so in the end its my fault
again.what have i been doing to get all of
this?
i seem to be always doing something you don't like. and you always got something
negative to think about. and say about.
but isn't love suppose to be sweet?
so why is all this turning out so bitter?
i guess you're wrong. its not love.
steal my soul; 2:20 AM
went out with
kim and
hazel yesterday.
it was super fun but
hell tiring.i'm somewhat on a major spending; shopping spree, and its
not good. i
can't stop myself!
i just keep wanting to buy everything.
haha, and i've been going out a lot lately.
and i'll still be. schedule for the week is
full.
wonderful, i wonder how long i can take
this.
steal my soul; 2:11 AM
i've
changed, i'm no longer what i used to be.
i used to do things.
almost anything so that you'll stay happy, and be here with me every single day. but i just can't be bothered now.
and seriously, what do you expect me to do?
you want me there by your side when you're down, but you never felt what i've been feeling all this while. i've problems of my own too. after all, its not only you.
steal my soul; 11:09 PM
marine square with
jolene and
melsa today.
my leg ached like
mad, unfortunately thanks to my converse sneakers.
watched pirates of the carribean.
it was freaking long, but
its love (:
not much of cam-whoring today,
but we still had the fun of our lives!
steal my soul; 12:14 AM
what you say now, and what you said then just
don't fit. in fact, they're
contradicting each other.
i still don't see why you're like that.
where's that person i used to know?
and whats with you and
them?
steal my soul; 6:11 PM
i don't like people meddling in my affairs.
i
never did, especially if its affairs of the heart.
i don't blame you, because
i know you care.
but give me a break, because i'm seriously sick and tired of answering everyone's questions and doubts.
i'm piled up with similar questions from different people all the time. so i have to keep repeating what i said, and its starting to get on my nerves.
i
hate it even more when people who suppose to understand me, don't.
i thought
you were better than this. but it seems that
you're so sensitive, all
you think about is how you feel now. please, just stop.
steal my soul; 11:27 PM
you were the one who made that day
extra special. but now that i know i'll most likely
never ever see
you again,
you're going to have to get out of my mind.
anyway, falling so many times while roller blading yesterday probably made me lose half my memory about
you already.
was roller blading in the rain too.
it was so
fucking cold, i couldn't move my feet. so kim had to pull me along.
went through blocks, having our own
adventure camp! and it was definitely better than
theirs. [ inside joke ]
steal my soul; 2:34 PM
been out a lot lately.
enjoying myself like that day's my last. and thats what i just love about marking days.
because they're so carefree- no exams to study for, and no marks to worry about.
but now that we have school, papers are coming back. got my physics, a math, e math, chinese and ss papers back today.
they were okay, i guess.
got my hair cut yesterday,
and i miss my hair already ):
ic ain't going to look pretty if it doesn't grow!
steal my soul; 2:46 PM
seriously, i don't like your friends interfering, and that
includes people i know.
you probably didn't put them up to it or whatsoever. but since they're
your friends, at least you have a right to tell them to stop doing what they're doing. because its
wrong.
its none of their business. its
OURS- mine and yours. thats it,
just two people.
anyway, went to town with
melsa,
jolene and
elaine today!
spiderman3 was entertaining, but i think everyone in the cinema probably wanted to kill the 4 of us because we were intolerable.
crying, laughing, screaming and all.
and yes, i agree that harry is hot!
blisters for you 3, and none for me (: haha sneakers are love. and so is cam-whoring!
oh and
hello juen su! nice seeing you!haha,
UTT! 'you're hot!'
steal my soul; 12:28 AM
baby, i'm
sorry. there's just certain things that cannot stay the way they are.
one example is us being together.
i know its 2 days more till we celebrate our 2nd month but its just
impossible to carry on.
we're like fingernails and chalkboard,
we just don't fit. i treated you more like a good friend but because we're together and because i felt guilty, i was obliged to do certain things i shouldn't have done.
so maybe, this ending of our relationship can bring joy.
steal my soul; 11:13 AM
hun, i'm
really sorry.
i guess there's just some things
you do for me which i don't see. and sometimes, i do things without thinking how it'll hurt
you.
i know you know how i feel when i say that
i really wish we could be like what we were.
and i also know you're probably feeling the same way too.
steal my soul; 1:21 PM
i'm
sorry. i will never know how
you feel,
even if i put myself in your shoes. because i no longer understand
you like i used to.
so if you think there's no point in messaging if i reply late, then
forget it. seriously.
i do have a reason. its
not like i did it on purpose. but its okay,
i don't expect
you to know this.
steal my soul; 7:58 PM
Why do i always have to cry because of
this?
You have nothing better to do,
so
you find entertainment interfering in my things even if it
never did concern you.
you expect me to do things i don't want to, and i have to act like i'm happy doing it.
even mom and dad think its okay-
you being like this.
you shouldn't even be part of me,
because
you're trashing up the rest of
my life that
you don't like.
steal my soul; 5:22 PM
hell, i'm
sorry.
sorry you're going through all this without me knowing until today.
all this disappointment and unhappiness.
but seriously, i know
you're trying really hard.
i'm glad
you know and respect people for who they are. and i just want
you to know that i'll always be here. and for
you to be proud of who
you are.
because i am :D
steal my soul; 2:44 PM
roller blading at east coast park yesterday (:
legs were numb thanks to the 5hrs work out.
yeah, so everything was just beautiful as the
dazzling stars dotted the clear night sky.
and well,
almost everything.
we even got to see amazingly ugly looking worms used for fishing.
i fell a couple of times too and scraped my elbow, but otherwise, everything was perfect.
even
you.
steal my soul; 2:18 PM
i feel that its either you don't have faith in me.
or that you don't have faith in yourself.
steal my soul; 9:20 PM
YES! at last! i'm feeling so much more relaxed with bio and social studies papers over!
seriously deprived of sleep now because i slept at 12+ and woke up at 4am to study!
both subjects had so much things to remember that
all my memory space was clogged up with
these so-called helpful information. to think it'll be deleted in no time.
steal my soul; 12:53 PM
yeah, how time flies.
things that
once were there which never failed to make my day has now gone away.
her smile radiates concern and love.
and it never fails to take away my problems.
but now, when i look around for her,
she's no longer there.
and shit, i hate science practical assessments.
i never fail to trash them.
i spilled chemicals all over the table during the chemistry spa, and carelessly, missed out
all the questions for the bio one.
i just need to kill myself for being so stupid.
steal my soul; 1:37 PM
i guess i was wrong about
you.
and its not like that really matters
but i don't know why i'm feeling this way.
i feel so irritated, so frustrated, especially when i saw all that. it gets even more irritating when i'm actually feeling like this.
just because of
YOU.
steal my soul; 6:55 PM
fourteen hours of sleep. i must really be tired.
the MYEs are here, and the pressure is slowly coming on. definitely glad that today is labour day. it's going to be a
great holiday,
though i'm spending it studying.
at least i got my well-deserved sleep!
steal my soul; 3:39 PM
